I’m not sure what a man is his late 30s was expecting, but I sincerely doubt he’s found it yet.
Then there was the guy who wouldn’t accept that I’m only free every other weekend and wanted to come round to my house once my son was asleep.
In reality, the things I want are fantastic nights out followed by lots of sex – but sadly they didn’t seem to top his list of priorities.
I learned to keep quiet about my dating adventures and largely ignored the so-called ‘advice’, but I soon realised that meeting new men isn’t quite the wall-to-wall fun I’d imagined.
What became immediately clear is that lots of people my age are like Tom – old before their time and acting like we’ve been married for 30 years.
Even if all that happened was a no-strings fling, I was still more interested in what they were like as people – did they have ambition? Well, it turns out there is a whole other layer of disappointment that someone in my position has to deal with.
First up, there was the guy who told me he didn’t really like women with children and it annoyed him that there were so many mums on dating sites – even though I had written it clearly on my profile!
I realise I’m not a teenager any more, but that doesn’t mean I want to fast-track to a relationship that involves arguing over the remote control when Match of The Day is on.
Then there is simply my lack of free time – my son goes to stay with his dad every other weekend, so I have precisely 48 hours a fortnight to have fun. In truth, I doubt we’re even seen as a great catch and imagine lots of people think I should just settle for whoever I’m lucky enough to get.Their negativity was surprising and quite upsetting at times. One friend suggested I should just focus on being by myself, while a particularly charming family member questioned why being a mother wasn’t ‘enough for me’.They even implied that I should wait until my son was 16 – only another 15 years on my own then!In fact, I know I will meet someone special one day.Someone who understands that being a mum will always come first, but that I also want and deserve an exciting social and sex life as much as anyone who doesn’t have kids.Gradually I introduced him to Josh, and I also felt like I could trust him with my post-baby body.